Quite often I find myself thinking what self-confidence really is and if it’s possible to be improved?
The confusing part probably is all the different terms, such as self-confidence and self-esteem. How I see the difference between these, is that self-esteem is more what you feel towards yourself and how you see yourself. I think that people who have high self-esteem love themselves inside and out and are happy to be who they are. They are content with their life and with the choices they have made in the past, and also accept the mistakes they might have made. A person with high self-esteem is very accepting and also ready to challenge oneself both mentally and physically.
Self-confident people, on the other hand, are people who are confident with who they are and what they do and think. So confident that for them it’s okay even though people didn’t always agree with them and they can admit being wrong. A self-confident person is good with people but also confident enough to be alone and not be the centre of attention. They can make a very difficult decision and truly stand behind it. They are okay to do things differently and accept differences in people. However, I think that sometimes self-confidence is something that comes and goes. In one moment you feel like you’re ready to conquer the world, and in the next you feel like giving up and hiding under a blanket for the rest of your life.
In my opinion both self-esteem and self-confidence can be improved. I must say that a few years ago I wasn’t self-confident at all, and today I feel very confident in my own skin, with my life and with all the decisions I’ve made. What has helped me the most, has been stepping outside my comfort zone, spending time alone and focusing on the things that make me happy. A few years ago I was very much out of my comfort zone when I was spending time alone or had to do things alone. Even having lunch or a coffee alone sounded frightening, but today it’s very normal for me to just sit alone and enjoy it. I think all the things that take you outside your comfort zone strengthen your self confidence because they give you new experiences and challenge you. Other very important thing is simply accepting yourself and getting to know yourself. It’s okay to have flaws and it’s okay to not be perfect.
Another thing that has helped me is pursuing things I love and trying to become best person of myself, as big of a cliche as it is. I don’t mean the best looking version of myself, but the best version of myself mentally and physically. I feel like I have found some kind of piece within myself and I’m learning to take things as they come. I’ve also learnt to make decisions just by listening to myself and not others. I’ve come to realise that it doesn’t matter what others think of me as long as I’m treat myself and others well.
It’s good to remember though that self-confidence and self-esteem don’t have anything to do with being arrogant. I hate it when people who clearly think they are the most confident people in the world, push other people down and think everything is about them. But there’s nothing as inspiring as meeting people who are so confident with what they do and who they are that they are very willing and happy to help others shine.