For the last 18 months I’ve known that I’ll end up moving to Australia at some point. First I thought it would be years away after I would have finished my master’s degree in Finland. Then I thought it might be a year sooner after I would have finished my master’s degree somewhere else than Finland. And then I realized that I should stop waiting for the perfect moment to move and just make the decision.
I started to notice that I was constantly waiting for things to happen to me and not living in the moment. I was constantly thinking about just the future and things that would happen some day. My life here in Helsinki started to feel like a waiting game. I noticed that I got jealous of people who moved on with their lives and fulfilled their dreams. And I started to feel that finishing my degree, just because I had planned to do so a long time ago, didn’t feel that important anymore.
But oh boy, it’s so difficult to admit to yourself, not to mention to others, what you truly want. You go through so many ‘what ifs’ and all kinds of scenarios in your head. You think that you probably should finish what you’ve started, and you make yourself captivated by the choices you’ve made in the past. And then the worst one, what if everything goes to shit?
And then one day you just make a decision and ignore all the what ifs.
Now I look back to October and November and think, how on earth was this decision so difficult to make? Because now it all seems so clear. And I’m freaking excited! And also super proud of myself.
I have sold almost everything I own, which is so liberating. My whole life is in two suitcases and a box. When I was in Sydney we went apartment hunting with my boyfriend, and he has already moved into our new home. I have a visa, flights purchased and all the obligatory stuff taken care of in Finland. Yesterday I threw a farewell party for my friends (so weird to say goodbye to everyone!) and now I have 3 more days in Helsinki. On Tuesday I’ll go spend time with my grandma for a few days before I fly to Salzburg on Saturday. I’ll spend close to two months there, which will be super nice since I’m not sure when I’ll see my family again. Then in the end of March I’ll fly back to Sydney!
I really can’t wait to get there, find a job and start living normal everyday life with my boyfriend. After 20 months of long-distance relationship, even taking the trash out together will probably feel luxurious! It will be super exciting to create my own routines, explore my new neighborhood and the city, blog about my life there and just enjoy life. Oh and yes, not living in darkness for 9 moths of the year will be a big plus!